The Liberation (Moksha) Everyone Wants - But I Don’t
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When we talk
about Hindu philosophy, one word rises like the Himalayas above all spiritual
conversations, that is Moksha. Ask any seeker, monk, yogi, or even a
casual temple-goer: “What’s the ultimate goal of life?” and more often than
not, you’ll hear the answer: Moksha, or liberation.
But here’s
where I differ.
Despite
being deeply spiritual and having experienced states that many yogis strive for
their entire lives, I stand here and say, I don’t want Moksha. Not
because I doubt it. Not because I don’t understand it. But because I do. And
what I understand fills me with awe, not desire.
Let’s take
this journey together, to explore what Moksha truly is, why billions
chase it, and why someone who has tasted both asceticism and royalty chooses to
remain in this beautiful illusion called life.
Kumbh
Mela: The Unspoken Craving for Liberation
Let me take
you back to a spectacle you may have seen or heard about, the Maha Kumbh
Mela of 2025 in Prayagraj. It wasn’t just a religious event; it was a
phenomenon. Nearly 450 million people participated. If you consider that
India’s population is about 1.3 billion, that means over one-third of
the population was drawn to the banks of the holy river Ganga.
Why?
Because deep
within every ritual, chant, and holy dip lies an unspoken yearning for
Moksha or liberation or something beyond birth and death, pain and
pleasure, loss and gain.
People may
not fully understand what Moksha is, but they feel it. They’re drawn to it like
iron to a magnet. And yet, here I am, a Hindu, a spiritual seeker, saying, “I
don’t want Moksha.”
Strange,
isn’t it? But stay with me, and I’ll tell you why.
What
Exactly Is Moksha? The Liberation Beyond Words
Moksha Is
Not Heaven. It Is Not a Reward. It Is Realization.
Unlike many
faiths that promise heaven as a reward, Hinduism speaks of Moksha as
dissolution, not into non-existence, but into the purest form of
existence, where identity melts and only truth remains.
Moksha is
not about going to another world. It’s about realizing that this world, our
world, is an illusion.
It is the
ultimate liberation from the cycle of Samsara, birth, death, and
rebirth. Not through death, but through understanding. It’s when the ego,
attachments, and layers of false identity dissolve.
But how do
we get there? This is where the Pancha Koshas, or the five sheaths of
existence, come in.
Peeling
the Layers: The Five Koshas That Cover the Soul
According to
Vedantic philosophy, we are not just flesh and bones. We are layered beings,
wrapped in five sheaths (Pancha Koshas) that veil our true self, which
is nothing but divine consciousness.
1.
Annamaya Kosha – The Food Body
This is the
outermost layer—your physical body, sustained by food and water. It's
temporary, perishable, and yet we mistake it for our whole self.
2.
Pranamaya Kosha – The Energy Body
This sheath
governs your breath and life force. Every pulse, every heartbeat, every
movement is possible because of this flow of Prana.
3.
Manomaya Kosha – The Mental Sheath
Thoughts,
emotions, desires, fears—all reside here. It forms your personality, your
identity, your "I think, therefore I am."
4.
Vijnanamaya Kosha – The Wisdom Body
Here lies
your capacity for logic, intuition, judgment, and inner wisdom. This is what
guides you when you meditate or discriminate between real and unreal.
5.
Anandamaya Kosha – The Bliss Body
This is the
most subtle, closest to the soul. It is the feeling of bliss you get during
deep meditation or moments of total surrender. But even this is still a layer.
Moksha is
attained when you transcend even this final sheath and realize that your true self, Atman,
was never bound to any of these layers.
Maya: The
Divine Illusion That Holds Us Back
If these
sheaths are the veils, then Maya is the grand illusionist. It’s what
makes this illusory world look real.
Maya is what
makes waves appear as matter, makes us feel pain and pleasure,
and tricks us into thinking that our body, job, relationships, and even
spiritual achievements are real.
The
scriptures say:
चरम: सद्विशेषाणामनेकोऽसंयुत: सदा ।
परमाणु: स विज्ञेयो नृणामैक्यभ्रमो यत: ॥ Bhagwat Puran 3.11.1
Charamaḥ sadviśeṣāṇām aneko'saṁyutaḥ sadā,
paramāṇuḥ sa vijñeyo nṛṇām aikyabhramo yataḥ.
Meaning:
The fundamental building block of the material world—the atom, though
indivisible and unseen, is mistaken by humans as a unified physical reality.
This is the illusion (भ्रमो bhrama).
Modern
science agrees. Quantum physics shows us that matter is mostly empty
space, that particles are really waves, and nothing is as solid as it
seems.
So, when we
“touch” the world, we’re really touching vibrations, not solid objects.
The movie feels real, but it’s in light and shadow.
The
Paradox of Zero: The Ultimate Reality
We often
think of zero as nothing, but in Vedic thought, zero is everything.
It is the womb of the universe, the unmanifest source from which creation
emerges and returns.
Just like in
mathematics, +1 and -1 cancel to zero, so do joy and sorrow, birth
and death, gain and loss, in Moksha.
The supreme
truth lies not in duality, but in that non-dual awareness where
everything merges. And yet, for most of us, this “merging” is terrifying.
Because it means no you, no me, just consciousness.
So why do I
resist it?
Why I
Don’t Want Moksha—At Least Not Yet
Here’s the
most honest part of this journey.
Yes, I have
practiced spirituality deeply. I have had visions of past lives,
experienced energetic awakenings, and even accessed truths beyond normal
perception.
But I still
love this game called life.
In one
life, I was a sadhu.
Detached,
meditative, serene. I lived 118 years, but when I died, I felt like I hadn’t
lived fully. I had missed out on love, mistakes, laughter, even chaos.
In the
next life, I was a king.
Powerful,
impulsive, indulgent. I lived barely 30 years, died in the war. But I lived
passionately. I tasted extremes.
And now, in
this life, I am both a seeker and a doer, deeply aware that this is all
illusion and yet, drawn to its beauty.
This Life
is an Illusion, But What a Beautiful One
I know this
world is not the ultimate reality. But who said illusion can’t be beautiful?
I want to
live more lives. Laugh more. Cry more. Make mistakes and learn. Even die and be
reborn again. Because every experience, however illusory, is a path to
understanding.
And here’s
the paradox: I want to understand Moksha fully before I seek it. And
until I do, I choose life, illusion, and experience.
Death is
Not the End—But Moksha is Not the Goal Yet
Yes, death
is not the end. It’s a reset button. A new role in a new play. But Moksha
is beyond the play. Beyond roles. Beyond the stage.
I accept Moksha. I simply say not yet.
I still have
stories to live. I still want to learn through contrast. Through Maya. Through
life.
Don’t Run
Toward Moksha—Walk With Awareness
Don’t chase
Moksha just because someone told you it’s the ultimate goal. Understand it.
Experience life. Question deeply. Live fully. And when the illusion has
taught you all it can, Moksha will come, not as a reward, but as a natural
realization.
Until then,
let’s enjoy this play, knowing it’s a play. Let’s cry at the sad scenes, laugh
at the comic ones, and applaud the divine director who made it all possible.
Because the
beauty of being human lies not in escaping the illusion, but in understanding
it while being in it.
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